Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Hungry Ghost Month Taboos...


There are many Chinese taboos associated with the Hungry Ghost month. Listed below are 13 of them and the apparent reason(s) for those taboos, as well as a lighthearted take on those reasons...

1. Don't go out at night...
You will bump into the wandering hungry ghost and either piss them off or they are attracted to you. If they are mad at you, then they will play pranks on you or sabotage what you do. If they like you, worst still.... you now have an invisible stalker. Imagine you having to make a police report that a 'hamsap' (perverted) ghost is stalking you... So no late night mamak eating trips or driving around okay...

2. Don't hang your laundry out in the open at night...
Ghost will be attracted to your laundry and stick to it, bringing negative energy to you when you wear your clothes.. Maybe it is the nice smelling laundry detergent you use or the softener?? Or maybe your laundry ain't clean enough and they have a smelly shirt/dress/underwear fetish?? 

3. Don't step or kick the offerings for the hungry ghost on the roadside...
The ghost will get angry if you disturb or kick their offerings... I guess if you go try and step on your family meal before they have eaten, or kick your friends/colleagues/parents/children dinner before they start eating or during their meal.... sure get whacked right??? So don't do it for goodness sake.

4. Do not step on the joss paper money offering on the roadside...
Stepping on their money is a sure way of pissing them off... If I see real money on the road, I will step on it and then bend down and pretend to tie my shoelaces before picking up the money, so I guess maybe the ghost thinks that you are after their moolah when you step on it.... which is bad.

5. Do not get married during the Hungry Ghost month...
They love ceremonies and parties that have candles and joss sticks and food. Also they might prank your wedding ceremony because they cannot be part of it or worst still, during the ceremony take up the same space as your partner... now you wonder which one did you marry huh, the human, the ghost or both???

6. Do not hold your wedding banquet during Hungry Ghost month....
If you had no choice and got married in the Hungry Ghost month, then for goodness sake do not hold your banquet dinner until the month is over... Why??? Food and tables and chairs and stage entertainment.... are you sure your banquet guest are all human or.... ghost???

7. No renovation during the Hungry Ghost month...
One reason is you disturb the peace and tranquility of the area and they don't like it. The other reason is if you had removed doors, windows, walls or roof, the ghosts can go in and hang about., and you are doomed if the job is done before the 7th month is over.... you sure 'sui' liao (badly jinxed) as the ghost might remain inside and you get a free 'maid' for the month.

8. No swimming especially at night during this month...
They are looking for another soul to replace their position and will pull you down to drown you. Now have you wondered if you piss when swimming or swim naked will they be scared off? Skinny dipping anyone?

9. If you are certain that you are walking alone, do not turn around or answer when someone calls your name...
Apparently humans have three 'flames' that protect one from being possessed, one on the forehead and one on each shoulder. So by quickly turning around the flames on the shoulders can be put off... At least I can tell my friends that I am a natural fire juggler.... If you need to turn around, slowly walk in a semi circle to face the other direction instead of swinging your head around. Hmmm, if I carry several fire torches, will that help??

10. Do not open an umbrella inside the house, or carry an open umbrella inside the house... 
It is believed that ghosts can and will hide under an opened umbrella to stay away from the sun (reminds me of someone who goes bleh bleh bleh; or they must be suffering from photosensitivity or are albino) and by bringing an open umbrella in or opening one inside your house, you allow them to go into the house via the umbrella. So is Rihanna referring to ghosts in her song Umbrella??? At least this proves that the umbrella is a versatile transportation device like how Mary Poppins uses it.

11. Do not stick chopsticks or eating utensils upright on rice or food not meant for the dead.... 
That is how food is offered to spirits. Then they will fight with you when you want to eat the food... see who can eat faster. Actually you don't do that all the time, not just during Hungry Ghost month. 

12. When you see seats set out in front of stages during the Hungry Ghost festival, never ever take the front row seats that are left empty for the ghosts...
Remember the Phantom of the Opera and what happened when they didn't leave Box 5 empty for him.... same thing if you try to take the front row seats. I would gladly leave the front row seats for them anyway... too near to the stage and neck pain to look up all the time at stage, plus speakers are too close and damaging to my eardrums... the best seats are somewhat in the middle, like in cinemas.

13. Never ever put a baby on the offering table at Hungry Ghost festival... or anything that you do not wish to offer to the spirits...
The spirits will think the baby is an offering item and proceed to consume it... Now how can anyone or anything eat a cute little baby??? Plus they piss and puke and shit everywhere... I imagine it wouldn't be the nicest piece of food to try and eat. I would rather go for the roast pig and chickens and ducks, won't you??


Click on these links to see my other posts about this festival in:

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